Information that's disclosed too early in the process can be destructive, but total avoidance only intensifies alienation caused by the affair. I actively structure the timing and the process of disclosure to maximize the healing effects of sharing the story of the affair because I've found that revealing the details of an affair is seldom constructive in the presence of uncontrolled emotional intensity or unresolved ambivalence about the future of the marriage. Discovering that a partner's been unfaithful is a traumatic event that shatters all the basic assumptions of commitment, love, and honesty.
Understanding the story of what happened is an essential part of the recovery from that trauma. In most cases, the betrayed partner's demand for information isn't meant to divert discussion away from marital problems as some clinicians have suggested but to put the pieces together into a meaningful whole. In fact, research has consistently shown that individual recovery, survival of the marriage, and restored trust are contingent on honest communication about the infidelity. Nevertheless, friends, family members, and a substantial number of therapists believe that talking about the infidelity will only make matters worse.
In my own survey of therapists, 38 percent agreed that "a spouse's desire to know details of the partner's extramarital involvement should be discouraged by the therapist. In general, I support sharing the specific information that the betrayed partner needs to know. Initially, I reduce the pressure by asking basic factual questions who, where, when, how long about the affair in a calm, nonconfrontive tone.
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I often suggest that betrayed partners pretend they're listening from behind a one-way mirror, and I give them an index card to write down their questions, comments, or contradictions. I warn them that hearing the real facts is likely to expose previous lies and deception, but it's crucial that the unfaithful partner's current truthfulness be appreciated rather than attacked. I encourage the betrayed partner to bring in lists of questions that I'll hold until we've laid a groundwork of caring, compassionate communication, and commitment.
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I delay complex questions about why the unfaithful partner got involved and explicit questions about sexual intimacy until both partners feel safe in the therapy. Of course, safety's impossible if the infidelity continues. With ambivalent, explosive couples, I promote a sense of security by asking for a verbal contract that both partners will remain in therapy and in the relationship for a specific number of sessions 6 or One way to create safety is to have individual sessions so the betrayed partner can vent overwhelming rage and the unfaithful partner can grieve the loss of the affair partner.
I advise couples to reserve sensitive and painful topics for therapy sessions and to focus on renewing positive aspects of their relationship at home. The unfaithful partner won't feel safe if the information that's shared in therapy is used as a weapon at home. The most compelling attractions of an affair for the unfaithful partner are the vanity-mirroring it provides, and the opportunity to experience oneself in a new role.
Therefore, I shift the focus away from the affair partners to what the unfaithful partners liked most about themselves during the affair that can be brought back into the marriage. For example, an unfaithful wife liked her assertiveness and outspokeness in the affair, but at home she was tightlipped and withholding. When her betrayed husband listened to her without criticism, she became hopeful that she could be free to be more herself in the marriage.
To explore partners' vulnerabilities for infidelity, I assess how each threshold was crossed as the affair developed. Did the infidelity begin as a sexual attraction or as an emotional attachment? I might ask, "How did you give yourself permission to go to her house for lunch? Or, "What did you share with him about your marriage, and when did you start lying about the friendship at home? For some betrayed partners, the burning need to know about sexual frequency, mutuality of oral sex, multiple orgasms, and sexual attributes of the affair partner often disappears with the passage of time and the renewal of love and commitment.
Others simply can't heal until they know everything. I recall one wife who couldn't let go of her obsessive questioning until she could put herself inside the scene and picture her husband's affair exactly as it unfolded from beginning to end. It was vital to her that she reclaim the exclusive territory that the other woman had stolen from her. I use the content of disclosure to shift the disclosure process from the early stage of a truth-seeking inquisition like NYPD to a second stage of neutral information gathering like Larry King to a final stage characterized by an empathic search for meaning.
Some unfortunate couples never get beyond an adversarial process of detective vs. They either stay together and allow infidelity to define their conflicted relationship or separate. Start by brainstorming creative words around the idea of travel. Words like seafarer, wanderlust, expedition, voyage. Suggest grandeur and adventures, but also make it light-hearted, and hint at the witty engaging writing style.
Complete Guide to Naming Your Blog
You also want to make sure people trust the advice and information you offer, so try and avoid anything to tongue in cheek or silly, but use language that promotes trust. A lifestyle blog should have a name that indicate a carefree, fun, and happy blog. No one wants to read about depressing things in a lifestyle blog, they are looking for life hacks to better their own lives. Or in the very least to vicariously experience good things through reading your blog.
In addition, because a lifestyle blog can cover many topics, from food, to exercise, to fashion and beauty, the name should be fairly abstract and unrestricted. First thing you need to decide is what aspect of food are you going to cover? Health foods? Decadent cake recipes? If you are going to focus on something specific, like pizza joints, you want a name that informs the reader of what they are getting into, so should likely incorporate the word pizza.
You might decide to cover a broader range of topics though. This is someone who likes eating and likely has a perfectly understandable, very relatable, but potentially unhealthy addiction to bacon. There are a vast array of niches surrounding creative blogs. DIY, graphic design, advertising, illustration, photography, art, writing. A creative blog should address a specific creative category and as such the name should clearly indicate what the main topic will be.
The word craft implies homemade, DIY, the word mess makes it seem lighthearted. First we should define what we mean by a personal blog. A personal blog is where you write about anything, without necessarily any goals or specific topics beyond things that interest you and your opinions. Mostly the popular ones encourage online engagement and are fun to read.
A personal blog can help you make a good first impression. You can display your knowledge, skillsets and passions which may help with your career down the line. However, building a loyal readership can be hard if you try and please too many people.
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So, focusing on a certain niche will help you connect on a deeper level with your audience in the long run. This means choosing a name that accurately displays your interests, passions and style is incredibly important. You might, for example, take topics that you have talked about with friends over coffee. Being fuelled by coffee is relatable, and Muse suggests a creative interpretation. This name is also unrestricted. For a beauty blog you really want to think about using language which connotes ideas that surround beauty, such as: refined, elegant, stylish, love, grace, allure, glamour.
A lot of beauty blogs are also based around personal brands, which makes this a very difficult industry to break into. Successful beauty bloggers often come from a successful career in the beauty industry, for example modeling, fashion stylists, make-up artists. This previous experience lends their blogs credibility. Thus a lot of blogs incorporate a name alongside descriptive language. When it comes to naming your blog you want to make sure that the subject matter of your blog is easily understood. However, it also should be creative and draw readers in.
Try not to go for the obvious name but work in abstract associations, interesting idioms and word play. You also want to try and create an original name, something that identifies your niche and stands out from other similar businesses. Further things to avoid are purposeful misspellings.
You want to make your name as easy to find online as possible. Related: How to Start a Travel Blog. Related: Podcast Name Generator. Blog Name Generator Generate name ideas for your Blog below.
Create a Professional looking website Today! Demographic Interests Think about your topic. Name Analysis of Leading Blogs. Nomadic Matt Nomadic Matt covers a broad range of travel locations offering advice on everything from budgeting, where to go, and how to get about. Pinch of Yum This is a fun play on the frequently used cooking phrase a pinch of salt.
Fabric of my Life This is a creative interior design blog. Write Laugh Dream This personal blog uses three independent words to convey three separate ideas, which combined hold positive personal connotations and also suggest an accomplished writer. Madeleine Loves Madeleine Loves is a beauty blog. Travel Blog Names Travel blogs should be informative, fun, and engaging, the name needs to reflect that. Lifestyle Blog Names A lifestyle blog should have a name that indicate a carefree, fun, and happy blog.
After an Affair, How Much Should Be Shared?
Food Blog Names First thing you need to decide is what aspect of food are you going to cover? Creative Blog Names There are a vast array of niches surrounding creative blogs. Personal Blog Names First we should define what we mean by a personal blog. Beauty Blog Names For a beauty blog you really want to think about using language which connotes ideas that surround beauty, such as: refined, elegant, stylish, love, grace, allure, glamour. Also, it refers back to the novel Gone with the Wind. Wander makes it sound whimsical and suggests you cover a broad range of locations and information.